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Monday, September 22, 2008
Blogging and Death
I just read someone else's blog today. I never read other people's blogs. Blogs are supposed to be personal- not to be read by other creatures besides the faithful creator. Reading other people's online diary is plain MEAN, I tell you. MEAN. So, going back to what I was saying. I read this blog of a girl who grew completely famous because of her "unexpected act". Please, don't ask me anymore what that unexpected act was. It was tragic, so tragic I can hardly mention to anybody what she did. So you'll have to figure it out yourselves. Anyway, so my friends were talking about this girl who committed suicide, which by the way was so unexpected, and so sudden (according to some of her friends who are also my friends). While they were talking about her, and her act of suicide, I butted in in their conversation and asked them why she killed herself. None of my friends knew the reason. In fact, I don't think anybody did. My friends told me that even her relatives and closest friends do not know the reason why she did what she did. Everyone was still looking for answers. And then this one friend of mine told us that this girl who killed herself had a "secret" blog, and that she knows how to get to it. Having this curious and nosy nature, I asked her how I can get to that secret blog of the suicide girl. At first I thought she would refuse, but without hesitations, she gave me the link to her blog site. A few minutes ago, I decided to check this secret blog of the girl. To my surprise, I actually did not find her blog (and its contents) surprising. No, not at all.It was filled with rants, and rants, and more rants about the people around her. Just as I had expected, knowing that it's a blog, therefore it would contain mostly her thoughts about the world and everyone else she knows. Like what I have said. A blog is like a diary (just like this one), and so it would a whole lot better if no one knows where to find one's blog. Or at least none of those who know you, or whom you know. Anyway, that's not the point I want to put emphasis on. That's not the reason why I'm blogging now. After having read this suicide girl's not-so-colorful-and-happy blog, I realized a few important things.First of all, we're all miserable. Believe it or not, we are. Some of you might think otherwise, but try to think of it. One way or another, we're miserable. We're lacking something, suffering from a few things, hurting from another thing, grieving for another, crying over yet another thing. Sorrow and pain never seem to stop. Fucking painful right? But that's how it is. That's simply how things are. ALL OF US, with a probable exception of Ellen Degeneres and Oprah, are and will always be in a state of misery until we die (unless you die a bad person, then your misery will go on forever). And I think this because I believe that pain and misery are actually part of the balance. They are variables of this equilibrium and so they are factors that you couldn't take out. In this life, we maintain a balance. That's why there are books on how to achieve a well-balanced life. I just hope to God they have tips there on how to become miserable. So as I was saying, life will never be complete without the sorrow, and the grief, and the loneliness. We can never run from it. Well, technically we can but that would only make us even more miserable because if you keep on running and running and running, your miseries will just pile up into a huge stack, and soon after you'll have to face all of them in a snap. Bam! Just like that. It's just like putting yourself in an electric chair surrounded by crocodiles and hiyenas, and not to mention Mrs. President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Men, isn't that horrifying? That would probably be the scariest moment of my life. And it would definitely be GMA who would scare me the most. I mean, I still have a chance in befriending the crocodiles, and the hiyenas, and probably the electric chair if it wants. But GMA? Nah! I don't think so. I'm 5'4. She probably hates people who are a whole lot taller than she is. So I think she'd hate me. But going back to my point, one way or another, we're miserable. And there's just no way we can escape that state of misery.We are all boxed in by our insecurities. No single person is uber and overly humble. I mean, let's be realistic here. I am overly positive that every normal living creature has insecurities towards something or someone. I have my own insecurities, I'd have to admit to that. And I find that completely normal. Those who do not have insecurities are only to be classified as either hypocrites, or hippopotamuses (or hippopotami if you would prefer). Hippos, in reality, are violent-tempered animals. But notice how most of them are portrayed in films and cartoons. They become all that lovely and friendly and jolly and shit. That's bullshit. They were totally "cutified" (thanks to Ms. wright for the new cute term) to become apt to the children. So those who pretend not to have insecurities are absolute hippos. They're cutifying themselves to look and sound and seem appropriate to their "viewers". In addition to what I'm trying to point out here is that our insecurities are what makes us. These insecurities can actually reveal who we really are inside. No pretenses, because we simply admit to ourselves and to others that we are insecure. But don't get me wrong alright? I'm not implying that having insecurities is healthy. No, not at all. It's not the point of having insecurities that matters here. It's our ability to overcome these insecurities. It's how we would be able to get over such insecurities. And so our goal now is to hone our skills in battling against our insecurities and in refining our sense of individuality. We are all unique beings. Our indifference makes us beautiful. And unless we realize that, our insecurities won't help us. We all have something in common. Something that binds us together. The common denominator among you, and me, your family, your friends, all politicians, and every human creature. The curse, or blessing for some, of every individual. Well folks, don't forget that all of us are going to die someday. We're mere mortals. We are all bound and doomed to die. This is why every moment, every minute, every second of our lives matters. And if you haven't realized that yet, well honey, you might want to consider committing suicide as well. Seriously. Those who waste their lives doing useless and meaningless things are crazy people. They've lost their sanity. Don't they know how lucky they are to be given a soul? Hasn't he thought that maybe God had a hard time reserving his/her body a soul so that s/he could experience a life? Okay. So maybe God didn't find too hard, but still. Doesn't he know how to appreciate? I can't stop thanking my creator, my soul and life giver for what He has given me. Because really, having a miserable life, having so much insecurities, and having the curse/blessing of death is so much better than not being alive at all, than not having a life, not having to see, feel, touch, hurt, pain, cry, love, or whatever damn feeling there is existing.
9/22/2008 08:15:00 PM
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