This is now my chance to clarify, or change whatever ideas I had in the past that I wrote here in my blog. So, here goes.

Today, I am exceptionally happy. I am exuberant. This is because I've already made up my mind on the person that I like and want the most. Also, my friends are in good moods so everything else is in accord with how I am feeling. Because of this, I've decided to take back what I have previously said about us being miserable forever. I'm sorry for having to sound so pessimistic about life at that time. I was probably unhappy during that time, and so I probably haven't realized or noticed yet the good things that were around me. So let me just tell you that I have already changed my view on things. We people are not really predestined to be miserable forever. It's true that we suffer, and we hurt, and we feel pain. But that's not because life was made that way. We become miserable because we choose to be miserable. It's actually based on how we feel, and how we perceive ourselves. It is dependent on our current state or condition. Meaning, if we feel happy about things, and about ourselves, then our lives become happy throughout. And if we start to feel depressed and disappointed, then our life continues to be that way, unless we opt to change it. Now, I believe it is us who creates the things that are going to happen in our lives. I learned this from The Secret, and I think that's really true. The only way we could become happy is when we choose to become happy.

So choose to be. I DID.

Another thing I would want to clarify is my notion on love. LOVE is a strange thing. LOVE is a really strange thing. You'll never know when it will hit you, though you're pretty sure that no matter what it will hit you. And so when LOVE comes your way, go and let yourself be hit. Don't make CUPID mad by letting him miss the shot. Remember, he is the God of LOVE, so might as well be caught under his so-called spells. Besides, GODS are supposed to know what they are doing. The only way to be loved and to love is by choosing to be hit by CUPID'S LOVE ARROW.

So choose to be. I DID.

And finally, I want people to know that LOVING means having to make sacrifices, even when you're already on your worst. Just like now. Even though you're already feeling bad about having to wait for such a long time (just like what I am experiencing now), you must believe and continue loving. One must actually think that when loving someone, there are no rules. So people can play foul, can cheat, and can sabotage. People can do whatever they want when they love, to put it simply. Would you like to hear my story? Well, it's not like you really have a choice.

I.. am.. under the spell of stupid cupid love. And the sad thing about this is that although I know that love is the best feeling one can ever feel in his/her entire life, right now, I feel awful. I'm in pain. I'm hurting. And I'm being like some kind of masochist because I won't stop killing myself. If you ask me why, I don't think I would be able to answer something logical. All I know is that I'm in love. And that makes me want to puke. To hell with love.

Now all I can ever blame is my crazy self, because I can't stop this motherfucking feeling. I'm insane, I know.

And that's all because I CHOSE TO BE.

I chose to love.

Even though it hurts me.



I know the pain will go away.

11/12/2008 09:57:00 PM