I realized today the person that I really really want. Out of the seven people in my list, he's the one I thought most (and still thinking of until now) today. He's the one I want. He really is. This time, I'm positive.

I could not stop thinking about him. I wanted to see him in SJ, in Miguel, in Yuchengco, in Andrew, and everywhere else in the campus. It's strange. The feeling is strange because I have no idea why I feel that way about him. All I know is that I would want to see him, and talk to him once more. Jesus! I know it's weird, this feeling. But I like it. I want him. I want him. Am I being too selfish? Should I also think about what he wants? Doesn't he want me back? I hope he does. I know he does. Crap, this feeling makes me smile like crazy. What on earth is happening to me?

I called him pagibig. I called him the love of my life. Damn it! Damn this feeling that I so fuckingly love. I don't want to expect and all because I don't want to get hurt, but I am willing to take the risk. I want him. Nothing else matters.

Have you ever seen someone like me? Have you ever seen someone like him? Gawd, he's perfect. He is like the most perfect thing in the whole Universe. The way he speaks, though it's not really that good, for me it's perfect. The way he looks, though some might say he's not that handsome and good-looking, for me he's perfect. I'm going crazy. I want to dance like some insane mental patient right now. Darn me. Darn this feeling. But I like it. I love it even.

And his eyes. They're like the most perfect eyes you'll ever see in the entire world. Well, for me they are. Am I sounding disgusting now? Do you think I'm being some obsessed stalker already? Oh well. So what? I'm not being a stalker. I'm just saying how much I like him. Is that bad? Does it sound bad? Oh my goodness. It does. But who cares? Screw you people.

Universe, and all might God and Father, and Jesus, and the Heavens, and the Spirit, I want him. I really do. I don't care if you think I'm being too selfish, even if I don't think I'm being like that. Screw my list. Screw my other crushes. I just want him. All I want is him. I hope you can feel and hear my thoughts, and hopefully too, you respond to them. I really want him. I've never wanted anyone before. I've never wanted any guy like this before. I want him.

I want him to be happy... even if it's not with me (though I'm still hoping it is).

11/12/2008 04:40:00 PM